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Drumpfster Fire
A compilation of Fark threads related to the dumpster fire that will soon be the administration of the 45th President of the United States of America. =Head Toupee= Nicknames This section will provide the many nicknames this asshole has earned, with credit when known. They are in approximate order of appearance on the internet. # short-fingered vulgarian Spy magazine's Graydon Carter and Kurt Andersen # Cheeto Benito # Orange Hitler # Trumpenfuhrer # tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon @MetalOllie via Twitter # Flim flam fuhrer # Deadbeat Donnie # President Joffrey # Orange Joffrey # Cheeto Supreme # fecal fingered Caligula # Orange Mugabe # Marmalade Mussulini # Dynamite Shitgibbon # Disgusting Pussygrabber (President Disgusting Pussygrabber) # Boss Tweet # President Peepee # Trumplethinskin # Putin's Cock Holster # Kim Jong Trump # President Asterisk # Orangeman # King Cheeto # Cheetolini # Grabby McSmallhands # The Piss King # President Daddy # Custard-flavoured jobby, Leather-faced piss jar, Mangled apricot hellbeast, Bawbag-eyed fuck bumper, Glaikit heidbanger, Toupéd fucktrumpet, Knuckle-brained fart lozenge, Blinkered plum, Huffy wee fuckin bampot, Utter cockwomble, Degenerate corned beef face syrup wearing wankstain, Rug wearing thunder nugget, Fuckin walloper, Uncooked pastry, Hamster heedit bampot, Fuck-knuckle, Rotten orange fucknut, Onion-eyed flap dragon, Wee orange rodent, Mop-headed fud, Cock juggling thundercunt, Witless fucking cocksplat, Gerbil-headed, woodstained, haunted spunktrumpet, Shitstick fuckfaceThe Great People of Scotland via Twitter, Buzzfeed (In video formhttp://ew.com/article/2016/06/28/david-tennant-scottish-trump-insults/) # Prince Trumperdinkhttp://www.fark.com/comments/9380461 ## Benito Cheetolini, Trumplethinskin, Little Lord Trumpleroy, Baron Trumpkonnen, Potato With Butthole Lips, Geriatric Oompa Loompa, El Payaso, Yam Being Mounted By A Gerbil, Orange shiatgibbon, Corporal Combover, Cheeto Hitler, Self-Described Billionaire, Mr. Micropenis, farkface Von Clownstick, Thin-Skinned Manbaby, Veruca Salt, Spray Tan Enthusiast, and now Prince Trumperdink. # Tangerine Nightmare # President Pissbaby # Obertrumpenfuhrer # Tangerine Tyrant # cut and paste Presidency # President Babydick # Mohamed bin Trump # President Breaking Wind Sir Ian McKellen via Twitter # ORALLY INCONTINENT PEDDLER OF FLYBLOWN MONKEY BOLLOCKS # hairsprayed huckster # Cheetoe Guevera # our national disgrace Meaningless Displays of Power or Just Plain Evil or Stupid Shit # Trump gives all current ambassadors and their families 2 weeks to GTFO # WTF: Trump orders the resignation of the commanding officer of the Washington DC National Guard. Holy Shiat: In the middle of the inauguration ceremony ## Major General Errol Schwartz isn't being fired, he tendered his resignation as is protocol, and the timing is his choice: The Trump administration asked him to stay on a few more days to smooth the transition, and he refused # Guess who tweeted that John Lewis is all talk and no action days before Martin Luther King day? ## Donald Trump's criticism of John Lewis results in tremendous book sales. For Lewis's memoirs ## It is considered an honor to be invited to Selma with John Lewis; he has taken members of both parties with him over the years. But Lewis said one person he will never ask to join him is Donald Trump # Donald Trump has revealed his plans for his first two days in office - To do absolutely nothing # In light of his lack of creativity and humanity, Trump will be eliminating the National Endowments for both Art and the Humanities # Trump's bizarre Inaugural speechwriting photo: Taken at a Mar-A-Lago concierge's desk, while holding a Sharpie and a blank pad of paper while looking like a petulant child ## Internet has fun with Trump's inaugural speech writing photo which appears to be Trump posing in front of a pile of blank paper taken at his secretary's desk. It does appear to be the closest that Trump has ever gotten to writing something Executive Meaningless Displays of Power or Just Plain Evil or Stupid Shit January, 2017 # Executive Orders ## In his first act as President, Trump cancels planned mortgage insurance rate reduction, costing new FHA homeowners $500/year # Meglomania, Jingoism ## In his second act as President, Trump issues proclamation for a "National Day of Patriotism". No word on if synchronized goose-stepping will be part of the festivities or not ## Donald Trump has just declared January 20th, 2017 "National Day of Patriotic Devotion". Other possible names include "Trumpoween", "TrumpsGiving" "Trumptoberfest" "Trumpsmas" "Donaldpalooza" # Government Websites ## One hour after inauguration Whitehouse websites for climate change, discrimination, and civil rights disappear ## So Team Trump didn't scrub all references to climate change, the Affordable Care Act, and disability rights from the White House website because of their Neanderthal ideology so much as their rank incompetence ## Spicer says, don't worry, we'll have a separate-but-equal Spanish language Blanco Casa website up soon ## Petition on Whitehouse.gov calling for Trump to release his tax returns has 250,000 signatures. That means he's got to release them, right? # ACA ## If you live in a red state, you may have already lost your health insurance. File a claim and see what happens ## ACA will be allowed to wither and die much like the Americans that need it ## Kellyanne Conway says Trump's plan to replace Obamacare involves turn Medicaid into a block grant program that States can run as they see fit. Or, as an"alternative fact", poor people are about to be screwed six ways to Sunday ## Remember when conservatives were apoplectic over Obama not enforcing the law? # Inaugural crowd ## 'It looked like a million': Trump whines the media is lying that his inauguration crowd was small ## "The President has a large penis. While there is no way to measure everyone's penis size, the President has the biggest penis in history" ## 'Baghdad Sean': Internet rips Trump press secretary for lie that inauguration crowd was 'largest ever' ## Fox News says Trump and Spicer are wrong about inauguration crowd size. FOX NEWS. But some guy lied about the removal of the MLK bust, so there ## The New York Times plays with the idea of showing it has a spine ## The new rhetorical frame for all the lies we're going to be subjected to by the White House is "alternative facts." Bonus quote: "There's no way to really quantify crowds" because apparently Kellyanne Conway has never heard of numbers ## Secret Service slaps down White House claim that 'magnetometers' shrank inaugural crowd size # CIA Address ## And NPR's balls grew three sizes that day ## Former CIA director can't believe what a childish speech Trump gave in front of the CIA. Guess he hadn't been watching Trump for the last year or so ## Transcript of Trump's speech to the CIA. Don't miss the scariest part: In Trump's mind, the law enforcement, military, and intelligence communities are all the same thing ## Remember the cheering CIA agents at Trump's speech? Turns out they're as authentic as the 'fans' who jump into the ring to answer wrestlers' challenges on WWE Raw # Protesters at Inaugural ## Most of the 230 rioters arrested in Washington D.C. following Donald Trump's inauguration will be charged with felony rioting, which carries a punishment of up to 10 years in jail and $25k fine # Inaugural Cake ## Cakeghazi ## The cake was not only plagiarism, it was also a lie # "Cost cutting" measures ## Federal Hiring Freeze in play ## Trans-Pacific Partnership withdrawal to be President Trump's first executive action Monday. Right after he mocks some libs on Twitter of course ## You may want to sit down for this, but apparently Trump's cunning plan to back out of TPP may not kill it, but it will definitely ensure America doesn't even get a voice at the table # Fiddling with regulations ## Trump says he's getting ready to cut 75% of government regulations, maybe more # Fiddling with foreign relations ## Trump to impose "very major border tax." Or if you prefer the alternative spelling, "recession" Investigations Possible Russian Interference Of 2016 POTUS Election # FBI and 5 other agencies investigating possible financial support from Kremlin to the Trump Campaign. *rubs hands together* ...It begins # While Trump is busy at the inauguration ceremony, US Intelligence officials will be analyzing intercepted communications and financial transactions between Russian officials and the Trump campaign Crimes This section will include all Fark threads related to crimes committed by the Head Toupee # If you had 'Second Day' in your office pool for 'How long into his presidency before Trump violates Presidential Records Act,' step up and claim your prize Conflicts of Interest This section will include all Fark threads related to conflicts of interest this asshole has himself entangled in # NYT publishes damning look at Trump's conflicts of interest. Trump: "Hey, everyone, look over here at my batshiat insane recount tweets until this blows over" # The ACLU is the first out of the gate to tilt at the windmills # Redesigned White House website plugs Melania Trump's QVC jewelry line (Not safe for work images in comment section below article) # Trump already setting records as President, with two ethics violation complaints filed against him within his first six hours # Wikileaks now offering to post Trump's tax returns ## Trump will continue to not release his tax returns because he never said he would release his taxes. These are the alternative facts as presented by George Orwell's Kellyanne Conway # It's not illegal for Donald Trump to hire his son-in-law as an advisor because reasons Lawsuits This section will include all Fark threads related to lawsuits filed against the Head Toupee # Remember during the Clinton years when conservatives fought an won a long legal battle arguing that the President is not immune from responding to lawsuits while in office? They are about to REALLY regret that =Administration= This section will provide the names and eventual scandals/crimes associated with these assholes "Advisors" and Other Assorted Appointments White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer * (first official press conference January 21, 2017) "The President has a large penis. While there is no way to measure everyone's penis size, the President has the biggest penis in history" * White House press secretary and Alternative Facts spokesperson is a Cosplay fan. Admit it, you want to see him as Pinkie Pie * Spicer says, don't worry, we'll have a separate-but-equal Spanish language Blanco Casa website up soon Reed Corish assistant to the president for intergovernmental and technology initiatives # Trump's latest adviser being sued for simply trying to "lighten up" the club scene John Gore Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights # Trump selects next head of DOJ Civil Rights Division - the guy who *defended* North Carolina's "bathroom bill" Julia Hahn special assistant to the president * Trump hires Breitbart writer to make alternative facts great again Michael Flynn National Security Adviser * Michael Flynn's extensive Russia ties are under investigation Cabinet Puzder, Labor Nominee # The Carl's Jr./Hardees CEO, and Trump's Secretary of Labor nominee, just wants to make life for fast food employees better by eliminating things like minimum wage, breaks and working extra hours without pay Price, Health and Human Services Nominee # Trump's pick to lead the HHS department invested in a drug company, then introduced a bill a week later to help that same company Pruitt, Environmental Protection Agency Nominee # Professional Swamp Drainer Donald Trump now facing a reality where his EPA selection was just implicated in a Super PAC scandal # Trump EPA pick would hold off on deciding to recuse himself from lawsuits until after he's had a chance to clear out the in-house ethics agency See Also * Fartbongo-->